Damn kid got some balls. Despite what I'm feeling, I must admit that it's the answer i'm looking. Matt's blog,well the part I did read was very insightful, i felt the stuff to vilmary was personal, thus i didnt read but nonetheless it provided me with thee answer I've been looking for all along. Sometimes I dont like reality, but he gave it someone else straight no chaser. It wasn't meant for me, but I took stuff from it anyway. It like showed me..that if i like someone, i need to realize i'm never going to get them. Well he knows what I'm talking about. I mean me having these feelings for someone, only put strain on things. For me to truly come out of the gloomy, sad state, I need to realize what's best for me. Sometimes believing in this fairy tale, and thinking of maybe just once it'll happen is = BULLSHIT.
Sidebar= I've been acting like i moved on and everything, well up until 5 minutes ago, I didn't. I was still looming in the "What If" stage. What if ******* wanted me, or what if ...etc. For the sake of my well being, and for me to be able to enjoy my teenage years, I need to face the facts. I will never have what I want. Aha, WARNING CORNY THING AHEAD: "Remember those walls I built, well baby I should knock them down". Get it, "halo" by B? whatevv..jerk. But really I've centered my everything around what I wanted. For my well being, I should get over myself, and see thee bigger picture.
It maybe hard sometimes to not go back where I was but truth is I need to not.
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