Diligence

I've been so diligent lately. Staying true to my goals ; not losing sight of the goals.
I've been facing some inner conflicts lately. thus it's time I let them loose.
let's start with my current situation.
I had to move back to philadelphia ; the city of no oppurtunity's. Back to my mother's house; where she doesnt support anything of the arts. nothing ; she hates it. So thus I have to suffer. Everything I worked hard for; is and was washed down the drain. I hate it; but I gotta stop crying.

To the naive part of me; I should've known that movving in with you would've been a waste of my time. i rather not know the good times that I experienced ; than to go through this withdrawl. I can't take it at all. I've been through so much ; and again i have to face feeling like a freshman 3times in a row.

to you ; the woman who handles my everything. I cannot believe how much you've changed since I been gone. I should you see why I cannot stand you. you dont support anything Ido ; you are so judgemental. You make me feel so uninspired to do anything. You want to me to get a wack job; doing something that will make you and god happy. I'm pretty sure he wants me to be happy. I cant take you. I do not want to live here with you at all. You make me really sick ; I can see this whole experience becoming something I dont want to be apart of. So I'll distance myself.
I think it's safe to say ; I strongly dislike you right now.

to M.P.S ; fck you. You're a child of your enviroment. It's so unhealthy. You don't feel sane unless theirs so drama started ; and made at her ; her ; or her. Whatever.
Word tothe wise ; everytime your depressed; it makes me feel really good.

to T.J.R ; you're the bestest friend; i ever had. it's just sometimes. I dont like what you become ; if were bestfriends; why do others come before me. Why? guess it wasnt what I expected.

I've been let down in the past 2 weeks ; I've had a few highlights. I havent accomplished somethings; i should've. But whatever. I eventually get to some of those things. that a teenager should.

I like pushing the envelope ; so if i sent a dumb message or too. I probably was kidding.

On other notes ; I dont know whats in store for the future. me living here; isn't probably the best thing. I know it's not ; i hate philly so much.
Honest to god. I dont believe anything anybody says. iLOST so much ; i'll gain nothing.
I'm really confused right now ; who knows.
i would type so more ; but gotta get used to the new rules. bed by 12. moms a bitch.
shedisgustes me.

i gotta cry and eat a bagel. bye