Ave Maria.

She was lost.....just like him. Him. He's always lost ; and had many people to guide him.
First and Foremost ; the song will not describe this blog; i just love singing thee high notes at the end. A more crazy song would be suitable for this.

I'll start right here ;
So i received 11 messages from you; spewing your hate-flame this way. I have tough skin when it comes to dickheads; I usually blow them off.
You've stood by me and let me talk shit on you for no reason. To you it might've seem like no reason. to me it was only suitable. So what you read bulletins;blogs;updates. Congrat's, i'll bake you some cookies. Didnt know you could read with all those tears in your eyes.
I constantly trash you over the dumbest stuff ; maybe. Not Really! Everything I did had a purpose. You did nothing to try and maintain a friendship. Your way of thinking is so "serial-killer esque". Honestly ; I didnt do it or they deserved it. Dumbass.
Hey ; i applaud you for trying tell people off when they talked about me. I would never throw that in your face ; friends dont. If it was real ; you would've never. You probably laughed; and then defended me. Idc though. It probably was girls.
I wish you could see what I see. Your just a big lanky flirt who goes to the one girl who treats you like poo. When problems not concerning her arise ; I'll tend to them. I did everyother time. So excuse the hell out of me for not caring about what "some leech" did you. I'm glad i affected your life good and bad. Right now ;I only care about the bad, that's the vindictive side.
egh; so you think me for always being there. Mhm.
An occasional text message would suffice ; never got that.
I was always there ; always! My friendship was with your voicemail.
Idk wht the fck you were supposed to do either.
I dont like you anymore; i got over that a long long time ago.
If this friendship is real and true ; then why dont i get credit.
We never hung out. You're a straight male, but do all the girls gotta get credit.
Is it because you like every single one. or maybe your a sexist discriminant.
yeah ; when you depressed i feel good. this way i know your human.
Okay ; so maybe you looked completely stupid.
this wasnt a real friendship ; we could go days without texting each other ; and occasional call.
I expected so much from you ; that from one point. When I realized it would never be ; i snapped.
Usually my love turns into anger ; ask my mother. She experienced it 1st hand.
and a whole host of best friends. Cant help it.
what you may see as something that was never mean to intentionally hurt me ; hurt me.
They all got more attention ; and i got none.
here's your space to justify that claim :______________________________________.
Knock yourself out. I cant wait to hear some bullshitty excuse.
You constantly fed me bullshit ; and i dont want to wait around for it to stink anymore.

at this point i'm speechless.
I'm not saying sorry.
idk what to say.

you.

I know I promised you a blog.
not tonight.
I'm way to tired to fight with you.
maybe I'll rip you a new one tommorow.
goodnight.
p.s. Fuck you Still asshole.

Diligence

I've been so diligent lately. Staying true to my goals ; not losing sight of the goals.
I've been facing some inner conflicts lately. thus it's time I let them loose.
let's start with my current situation.
I had to move back to philadelphia ; the city of no oppurtunity's. Back to my mother's house; where she doesnt support anything of the arts. nothing ; she hates it. So thus I have to suffer. Everything I worked hard for; is and was washed down the drain. I hate it; but I gotta stop crying.

To the naive part of me; I should've known that movving in with you would've been a waste of my time. i rather not know the good times that I experienced ; than to go through this withdrawl. I can't take it at all. I've been through so much ; and again i have to face feeling like a freshman 3times in a row.

to you ; the woman who handles my everything. I cannot believe how much you've changed since I been gone. I should you see why I cannot stand you. you dont support anything Ido ; you are so judgemental. You make me feel so uninspired to do anything. You want to me to get a wack job; doing something that will make you and god happy. I'm pretty sure he wants me to be happy. I cant take you. I do not want to live here with you at all. You make me really sick ; I can see this whole experience becoming something I dont want to be apart of. So I'll distance myself.
I think it's safe to say ; I strongly dislike you right now.

to M.P.S ; fck you. You're a child of your enviroment. It's so unhealthy. You don't feel sane unless theirs so drama started ; and made at her ; her ; or her. Whatever.
Word tothe wise ; everytime your depressed; it makes me feel really good.

to T.J.R ; you're the bestest friend; i ever had. it's just sometimes. I dont like what you become ; if were bestfriends; why do others come before me. Why? guess it wasnt what I expected.

I've been let down in the past 2 weeks ; I've had a few highlights. I havent accomplished somethings; i should've. But whatever. I eventually get to some of those things. that a teenager should.

I like pushing the envelope ; so if i sent a dumb message or too. I probably was kidding.

On other notes ; I dont know whats in store for the future. me living here; isn't probably the best thing. I know it's not ; i hate philly so much.
Honest to god. I dont believe anything anybody says. iLOST so much ; i'll gain nothing.
I'm really confused right now ; who knows.
i would type so more ; but gotta get used to the new rules. bed by 12. moms a bitch.
shedisgustes me.

i gotta cry and eat a bagel. bye

It hurts to smile.

With this blog ;i have no purpose. Here I am 9:20 sitting in guidance ; waiting to start my english final. I am currently carrying so much on my back; i feel like I was punished by greek gods. Surely ; i havent commited acrime. Why must I be punished?
Things are more than stressful ; their dissapointing & make me not want to have any drive. I just cant wait to go see Beyonce on the 26th.

I'm off gotta take my english final.