Wishing and Waiting.

In life I dont normally ask for much at all. I never really ask, I kind of never was the type to ask. Especially in my household, my mother usually has to bombard me with questions and sometimes forcefully hold me and ask me what I need. I usually go for it myself ; and if its offered I take it.

So Recently I moved back to Philadelphia; and honest to god. I'm kind of 50/50 about it. I mean theirs a whole stress thing taken off my shoulder. My sister, even though she's a grown woman. Sometimes wasnt able to feel validated or able to make a decision without the consult of my mother. Something as tedious as washing clothes shouldnt worry me but yet I spent my jr years wondering how I was going to wash my cheerleading uniform. I knew she worked constantly to make ends meet, but it was up to me to handle mines. Slowly I did, by saving my money just to run downstairs and wash my clothes. Yeah; I didnt like it because I preferred my mother and fathers washing machine. haha; gets the job done but anywho. Being in jersey, if I could change one thing, it would be the fact that my sister really didnt grow up when she made the decision to move. She got married way too fast; pregnant fast and things changed. I mean I love her to death, dont get me wrong but she sometimes got angry at me for asking for the basic neccesities.
but in the end it was a good experiece.
Me and friends; god. i usually had 1 good friend in school. No Bestfriend and coming to jersey: I made some friendships that'll i hold to the grave.
The School opened a window of oppurtunity for me and gave me the resources to express myself; academically and artistically. Sometimes I did poorly though but you live and learn; and I kind of learned.

I finally wasn't asking myself anymore and realized I was doing things that I loved since I was little. haha;

But now I'm back in philadelphia and god the resources are awful. My mother prevents me from going out; so that means no theatre , no cheerleading, no chance to tumble, and no chance for a relationship.
I constantly face so many obstacles living here; I learned to start asking again only to be shot down. I dont ask for outlandish stuff; I ask for things that would better me as a person.

Okay; so I'm getting tired. I'll post a part two with more in-depth look at me.
maybe i'll cover my goals; my dreams(nocturnal & and my fairy tale like ones), my self esteem and romance.Deff.
Night; stay blessed.